the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
