We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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