I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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