I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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