I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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