I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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