ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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