$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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