Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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