Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
