I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i've created a new STD.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
