If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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