I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
