Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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