eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
