ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
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Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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