Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize