cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
