Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
