is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
