I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
