Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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