I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
