I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
