Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize