what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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