Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
