i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
