So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
