I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
