guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
