oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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