Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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