Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Everything about him screamed your future.

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  (818): Everything about him screamed your future. http://tfl.nu/rljr
  Replies (4) Good night (3338) Bad night (1015)
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  (209): View more from California

  she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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  (209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82
  Replies (24) Good night (2046) Bad night (10394)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3

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  (403): Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3 http://tfl.nu/lt38
  Replies (20) Good night (1951) Bad night (3832)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  a search helicopter?!

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  (301): a search helicopter?! http://tfl.nu/5l8d
  Replies (25) Good night (5417) Bad night (1333)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.

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  (814): if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xo3z
  Replies (20) Good night (5249) Bad night (1267)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away

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  (205): I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away http://tfl.nu/4739
  Replies (5) Good night (2371) Bad night (968)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

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  (610): I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse. http://tfl.nu/qk0b
  Replies (32) Good night (1766) Bad night (16147)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...

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  (732): Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL... http://tfl.nu/zpti
  Replies (6) Good night (2182) Bad night (1112)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.

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  (832): He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like. http://tfl.nu/ukkd
  Replies (21) Good night (3908) Bad night (1138)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.

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  (303): The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble. http://tfl.nu/kaq2
  Replies (6) Good night (1129) Bad night (670)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'd say they're off to a great start!

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  (703): Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles. (571): I'd say they're off to a great start! http://tfl.nu/1lyt
  Replies (4) Good night (2262) Bad night (634)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month

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  (517): well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month http://tfl.nu/fhen
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (1716)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.

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  (814): He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice. http://tfl.nu/r5ev
  Replies (10) Good night (673) Bad night (1341)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat

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  (205): Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat http://tfl.nu/n66h
  Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (500)
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  (925): View more from California

  I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me

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  (925): I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me http://tfl.nu/b2lt
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (106)

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