you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
