I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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