Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".