I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder