they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
