My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.