Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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