Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
