Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
