Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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