How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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