so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
