Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
