im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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