I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
