pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
