I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
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I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize