and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I could fuck to npr.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
