I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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