just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize