I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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