Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
