You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
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It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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