looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
