So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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