The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
