he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
