Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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