Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
