You really coming over, don't trick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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