You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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