I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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