I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.