Texts From Last Night

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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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  (605): Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?! http://tfl.nu/u19h
  Replies (13) Good night (4239) Bad night (582)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho

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  (770): she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho http://tfl.nu/uw8w
  Replies (26) Good night (1006) Bad night (3356)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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  (210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz
  Replies (32) Good night (9186) Bad night (997)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.

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  (425): I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B. http://tfl.nu/2oen
  Replies (38) Good night (5062) Bad night (2007)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power

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  (425): the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power http://tfl.nu/ghbk
  Replies (7) Good night (2850) Bad night (829)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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  (207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq
  Replies (30) Good night (6036) Bad night (1666)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

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  (609): don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/y8qj
  Replies (7) Good night (1316) Bad night (790)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

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  (732): This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms. http://tfl.nu/i073
  Replies (3) Good night (1560) Bad night (763)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

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  (+44): Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/zew5
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (1017)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough

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  (931): pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough http://tfl.nu/s0pj
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (1078)
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  (351): View more from Massachusetts

  I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.

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  (351): I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh. http://tfl.nu/v1ee
  Replies (1) Good night (953) Bad night (410)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?

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  (719): Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween? http://tfl.nu/i2fu
  Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (332)
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  (562): View more from California

  I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"

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  (562): I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??" http://tfl.nu/7nog
  Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (371)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Good decision.

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  (817): I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things (832): Good decision. http://tfl.nu/tpjd
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.

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  (317): There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that. http://tfl.nu/yu8u
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (175)

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