so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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