Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I can only date guys with blackberrys

(810): View more from Michigan

I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me

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(810): I can only date guys with blackberrys (810): I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me http://tfl.nu/t7yh

Replies (11) Good night (850) Bad night (1076)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

what if I'm pregnant?

(848): View more from New Jersey

smusmorshion

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(908): what if I'm pregnant? (848): smusmorshion http://tfl.nu/vksj

Replies (103) Good night (2136) Bad night (3128)
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(805): View more from California

singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful

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(805): singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful http://tfl.nu/6f81

Replies (14) Good night (1261) Bad night (1977)
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(847): View more from Illinois

everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

(224): View more from Illinois

it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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(847): everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool. (224): it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you. http://tfl.nu/qam8

Replies (24) Good night (862) Bad night (3705)
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(631): View more from New York

My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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(631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc

Replies (23) Good night (911) Bad night (2488)
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(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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(516): Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning. http://tfl.nu/lzds

Replies (15) Good night (834) Bad night (5407)
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(740): View more from Ohio

There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"

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(740): There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!" http://tfl.nu/rva9

Replies (5) Good night (1382) Bad night (4868)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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(780): Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man. http://tfl.nu/3qrw

Replies (8) Good night (5210) Bad night (2051)
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(817): View more from Texas

He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van

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(817): He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van http://tfl.nu/z2ov

Replies (2) Good night (2216) Bad night (922)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.

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(606): at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk. http://tfl.nu/jf5g

Replies (11) Good night (677) Bad night (3839)
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(303): View more from Colorado

U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.

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(303): U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up. http://tfl.nu/8u2m

Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (864)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.

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(774): You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/e4s1

Replies (9) Good night (2971) Bad night (711)
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(440): View more from Ohio

That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"

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(440): That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone" http://tfl.nu/gip2

Replies (7) Good night (705) Bad night (1529)
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(516): View more from New York

My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.

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(516): My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit. http://tfl.nu/2g7d

Replies (9) Good night (1066) Bad night (1908)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool

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(412): well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool http://tfl.nu/f06r

Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (256)

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