Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?

(847): View more from Illinois

Beat you to it.

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(515): Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card? (847): Beat you to it. http://tfl.nu/fyxy

Replies (9) Good night (1582) Bad night (456)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

dude, you're being a jerk.

(919): View more from North Carolina

sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney

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(704): dude, you're being a jerk. (919): sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney http://tfl.nu/o9rt

Replies (6) Good night (844) Bad night (488)
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(904): View more from Florida

I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.

(1-904): View more from Florida

It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.

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(904): I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling. (1-904): It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that. http://tfl.nu/i3bg

Replies (28) Good night (773) Bad night (2111)
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(210): View more from Texas

Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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(210): Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks http://tfl.nu/5a6w

Replies (5) Good night (7268) Bad night (567)
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(314): View more from Missouri

hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?

(573): View more from Missouri

pat the guy you slept with

(314): View more from Missouri

still need a last name

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(314): hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this? (573): pat the guy you slept with (314): still need a last name http://tfl.nu/e97s

Replies (53) Good night (10604) Bad night (1715)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

well i fucked her too, so yes.

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(484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes. http://tfl.nu/6v2h

Replies (91) Good night (1426) Bad night (8995)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.

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(608): Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night. http://tfl.nu/vd8i

Replies (4) Good night (2500) Bad night (1118)
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(703): View more from Virginia

There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.

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(703): There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse. http://tfl.nu/1du4

Replies (27) Good night (3426) Bad night (1076)
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(636): View more from Missouri

You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.

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(636): You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults. http://tfl.nu/yz23

Replies (4) Good night (2134) Bad night (589)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

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(828): I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know. http://tfl.nu/l3hv

Replies (11) Good night (1040) Bad night (474)
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(407): View more from Florida

I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.

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(407): I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk. http://tfl.nu/whru

Replies (8) Good night (381) Bad night (771)
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(817): View more from Texas

I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.

(512): View more from Texas

Not yet.

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(817): I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous. (512): Not yet. http://tfl.nu/l0rj

Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (447)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.

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(812): Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome. http://tfl.nu/9uj2

Replies (9) Good night (1462) Bad night (493)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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(612): I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/y0ry

Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (242)
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(646): View more from New York

Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.

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(646): Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini. http://tfl.nu/wt6x

Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (133)

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