I CAN MOONWALK!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
