She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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